We know you’re busy at this time of year, but we were wondering if you could take a look at our Christmas list. We don’t need all of these items, perhaps one or two per editor or proofreader, but it would be nice to be given something really useful, really relaxing, really inspiring, or really thoughtful this year. (The less said about last year’s pot pourri and wall calendar of naval scenes, the better.)
Tools for the job
Mugs. We use them a lot. During any given year our mugs will have suffered such wear and tear that a new one is always welcome, particularly a funny editing-related one (from Etsy), or one that reminds us of the most wonderful words we’ve ever read (from Penguin).
Also, any coffee- or tea-making gadgets would be lovely. Nothing too big, obviously, as most of us work alone – well, many of us don’t work absolutely alone, but cats don’t drink hot beverages – tea pots for one from Whittard’s, small coffee makers from Bodum, that sort of thing. Let’s face it, most of us would be delighted with some fancy biscuits. If they’re in a nice tin, we can keep it for any of the business-related detritus we’re currently stuffing in a drawer or putting in endless tiny pots on our bookshelves.
Once we’re refreshed, it’ll be time to get to work. T-shirts or tote bags from Arrant Pedantry will get us in the zone for battling those stray commas and dashes.
Reef blue, dandelion yellow, myrtle green, sapphire blue … no, these aren’t the latest Dulux colour range, Santa. They are the colours of covetable Moleskine notebooks. With one of these on our desk, there will be no excuse not to record every small thought that occurs to us during the editing process, perhaps with a posh new pen.
As we valiantly attempt to sit at our computers all day without turning the heating on, how we will appreciate some beautiful fingerless cashmere gloves from Turtle Doves (around £26 per pair). If you can’t stretch to those, check out the Heat Holders range by SockShop. As well as socks, there are gloves, neck warmers, and even hats. Perhaps reserve the hats for those editing in a croft on a Scottish island without heating. You know who they are.
Once we’ve worked for a few hours, we’ll need to do a Stet activity. These didn’t exist last year, Santa. We just called them ‘a stroll around the block’, ‘a quick spin on the bike’ or ‘a short run’. However, this year they’re an indispensable part of our editing day, and we’ve quite worn out our leisure gear, so some new sports clothes would be most welcome.
When we’re back, all revitalised and with a healthy glow we want to show off, we might want to do some promotional activities. For this we’ll need a selfie stick. After all, our arms just aren’t long enough to snap a photo that looks like someone else has taken it, and the cat hasn’t completed its photography course yet. With this equipment, too, we might be able to finally make that introductory video we’ve been promising the marketing department (yup, ourselves) that we’d produce in 2019.
2019 has been a bumper year for books about language. With a book token, we could choose from Dreyer’s English by Benjamin Dreyer, Don’t Believe a Word by David Shariatmadari, Greek to Me by Mary Norris, Semicolon by Cecelia Watson, or Because Internet by Gretchen McCulloch. (Only joking: we’d use this rare opportunity to buy a fast-paced thriller or a book about gardening.)
If you’re feeling flush, Santa, you could pay for a one-off house clean or a consultation by a life laundry-type person to get our house and possessions organised. Or, as in that classic Frasier Season 5 Christmas episode, you could treat us to a relaxing massage. We’ll take a BACS payment if you don’t have any cash on you. After all, we are professional business people.
With gratitude and barely concealed anticipation,
The members of the SfEP x
Proofread by Joanne Heath, Entry-Level Member.
Posted by Abi Saffrey, SfEP blog coordinator.
The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of the SfEP.